a few good books on marital intimacy

i have been reading a few very good books on marital intimacy latelty and wanted to share the titles with you.
1. Becoming One by Robert F. Stahmann and Wayne R Young and Julie G Grover

"Beyond the excitement of building a life together lies the reality that the quality of a marriage relationship is built upon physical and emotional intimacy. Too many couples begin in ignorance, not understanding their own needs or those of the person they love. Countless studies have shown that this can lead to problems and conflicts over the sexual aspects of marriage that may contribute to unhappiness and even divorce. How much better to establish a basis for open communication, unselfishness, and love by learning the facts about the differing sexual, emotional, social, and spiritual needs of men and women."

Written from an LDS perspective, Becoming One offers frank, easy-to-understand information that can keep married couples on the path to a happy, fulfilling relationship—one that will serve them well throughout all the stages of their married lives". (from deseretbook.com)

2. The Sexually Confident Wife by Shannon Ethridge

"Shannon gives women a new prism through which they may view themselves as wives, lovers, mothers, sisters, and daughters. Her insights, information, and inspiration will help women form healthy, satisfying, and joyful relationships. Isn't that what it is all about? Thank you Shannon"
-Julianne D. Davis, Ph.D.

"The Sexually Confident Wife is an insightful book about married sexuality. I was deeply impressed with Shannon's personal transparency and ability to discuss frankly, yet graciously, some of the more challenging bedroom issues. Beyond that, I was sincerely encouraged by her wisdom, humor and grace. This book is an invaluable tool for wives in search of sexual wholeness and marital intimacy."
-Lori Byerly, Author of The Generous Wife/Husband and The Marriage Bed

"If your sexual confidence is shaky, you can do something about it. Shannon Ethridge pulls the covers off of the bedroom issues that threaten to leave you and your husband disconnected – emotionally, spiritually and physically. With honesty and directness, she shows you how to conquer doubts, hesitation and anxieties so you can enjoy a more sexually satisfying marriage."
-Valorie Burton, Professional Life Coach and Author of How Did I Get So Busy? (from sexuallyconfidentwife.com)

tell me what you think...

i just came across this website called husbandhero.com. check it out and tell me what you think of this idea in the comments section.

thanks,
naomi carmen*

the ABCs of love and romance

Abandon doubt

Be mine

Call if you're late

Dance at weddings

Eat dessert first

Flirt

Gamble on forever

Harbor a crush

Initiate romance

Just say "yes"

Kiss like you mean it

Make out more

Not in public

Open your heart

Pretend it's prom night

Quote poetry

Reciprocate

Share your toys

Trust

Uncork champagne

Value fidelity

Write love letters

eXpect honesty

Yield to chocolate

rendeZvous

date nights are oh so special and important

i am really excited that my husband and i will be going on a date night this saturday. we usually enjoy going to dinner and a movie, but with two little ones and his crazy school schedule it's been really hard for us to get out together as often as we would like to, and probably should, too.

marriage books and counselors emphasis this one-on-one date night for couples, especially after kids have joined the family. in one of my classes about family relations, i learned that a family is often compared to a house and that the foundation of that house is the relationship between the husband and the wife. if that relationship suffers, everything else suffers as well. i believe this to be so true.

my husband and i have made goals about date nights so many times, i really hope we will stick to it this time. saturday will be the second date night this month, a new record for us, so to speak! *smile*

i also find that date nights don't have to be anything fancy. the other night my husband brought home the movie Australia and insisted in me stopping what i was doing right then and watching it with him. at first, i was kind of annoyed a little, i have to admit, because i reserve my evenings for finishing up everything i wasn't able to do throughout the day: cleaning the kitchen, folding the clothes, checking emails, updating blogs, watching my shows, etc. BUT, i am not stupid either, if my husband asks me to do something with him, i know i better do it! because let's face it, how many times does he actually initiate spending time with me? well, to be fair, not never, but not as much as i'd like to either...

it turned out to be quite the romantic evening, us watching a movie together, sitting by each other, arm in arm, experiencing the same emotions throughout the movie. it was so much better than finishing up my tasks from the day, that can always wait until tomorrow, but that evening with my husband was so special, i am glad i didn't miss it!!!

what are some fun date night ideas you have and enjoy as a couple???

my feelings about marriage in general

so, first of all, i decided to change the name of my blog from "let's talk intimacy" to "everything i know about marriage" because i realized i wanted to write about more things than just marital intimacy, though that is one of the main reasons i started this blog.

i am not sure why i feel so strongly about marriage, maybe because i know it's something God wants for all of us. i feel very strongly that God intended for a man and a woman to be married, not only to have children, but also for the companionship and to learn principles we can only learn as a married couple.

marriage to me is just a great thing, i have always striven for, and now that i have been married for almost six years to my husband, i know that continuing to keep the marriage strong and alive is so important to both of us and to our children.

i feel that the key to a strong marriage lies in unconditional love, open communication, forgiveness, trust, honor, and intimacy. my husband and i have always been very honest with each other about anything, even if i sometimes am embarrassed to tell him about my deepest thoughts and feelings. i know he respects and loves me even more for being so open with him.

some may think that keeping some things secret is okay, and makes you somewhat mysterious to your husband, but i have found that honesty and openness is always the best policy. it has made our love for each other stronger over the years and i am grateful for that.

please share with me what you think the keys to a strong marriage are in the comments section, or you can email me at naomi.witcher@gmail.com. i'd love to hear from you.

hugs and love,
naomi carmen*

please be patient with me...

as i am starting up this new blog of mine, i am having so many ideas it is hard for me to know where to start out at. so, hence my lack of postings these days. it's a little frustrating, but only because there is so much i would like to share with you!

so, please be patient with me. i have so many things to share, the first of which will be posted soon!



in the meantime, check out this challenge! i found this last night when i came across the diaper diaries. this is exactly the kind of stuff i'd like to address here! i am glad to have found a like minded friend in the blogging world!!!

hugs and love,
naomi carmen*

recipe for a strong marriage

a friend of mine, inspired by this new blog, posted on her private blog a good recipe for a strong marriage: have a good attitude and don't take offense easily.

when i read that i had to agree. a lot of times conflict can be avoided if we have a good attitude about things, and are willing to give our partner the benefit of a doubt, which leads to not taking offense easily by what is said or done.

i have noticed in my own marriage that most times when i have taken offense by something my husband had done or said that is was unfounded, and that what i thought was going on or he may have meant was the furthest from the truth. do you think that could have anything to do with the fact that women read a lot into things?

i am glad i realize now that giving my husband the benefit of a doubt is what is making me happier in our relationship. after all, i am not perfect either, right?

How I Met My Husband

To begin this journey, I would like to share my and Chad's story with you - how we met - so you know a little bit more about me.

Chad and I met in college in May 2002 when I took over his student government position. I called him to learn about what the position entailed. During our meeting he interrupted me to tell me that I had the most beautiful eyes. I thanked him but didn't really think too much of it. The next day I left to go home for the summer, and I wasn't really thinking about Chad until he started emailing me more things about my new position, slipping into his emails things like: "When you come back to Utah, I really should take you out to lunch." I started paying more attention to him then, and we emailed all summer long.

When I returned to Utah, he was the first person I saw on campus, and all of a sudden he looked so good to me. Attraction started growing as we started working on projects together. We became really good friends at first, and the more we talked the more time we wanted to spend together. One night he came over to my place on a dare, and that night we kissed for the first time!

After that we just hung out more and more and dated each other for a few months before we started talking about marriage. We knew we wanted to be together, but some differences caused us to break off our relationship a few times. We were on and off over the next few months, during which I realized that I wanted to be with Chad no matter what!

Over the 4th of July weekend in 2003 I visited a friend in Arizona to think about things. We were on a break at the time. By the time I got back I wanted to talk to him. I called him and told him I needed to talk to him. He said he was planning on meeting up with a friend in Cedar City. I asked him if I could come with him. He reluctantly agreed, and so we went down to Cedar City together, talking about us on the way. By the time we got there, we were holding hands and acting like a couple again. So the next morning, we looked at each other and said: "If we are going to be together let's make it official. Vegas is only two hours away."

We were both tired of being on and off, knowing full well we wanted to be together. So, after a long prayer and a long talk, we drove to Vegas and were married on July 7, 2003. Even though we had no family or friends with us, it was the most wonderful day of our lives.

We have been happily married for the past five years and have been blessed with two beautiful children.


Our story was also published on Laura Brotherson's Strengthening Marriage Blog. Check out her blog by clicking here. It has a lot of helpful resources, including info on her book: And They Were Not Ashamed. Click on the title to learn more about the book.

I hope you enjoyed getting to know me and Chad a little better. ;)

Have a great weekend!

***Naomi Carmen***

A New Beginning

Welcome to my newest blog: LET'S TALK INTIMACY!

One of my many fields of interest remains Family Studies, with an emphasis on Strengthening Marriage Relationships. While in college I combined my Political Science major with a minor in Family Studies, and I greatly enjoyed studying this field. After graduating, my desire to learn more about marriage relationships, and intimacy in particular, has continued to grow.

I can honestly say I have read plenty of books and visited many websites on the matter, so much so, that I feel it would be beneficial to share the things I have been finding with you, my readers, in the hope that the information I will share here will in some measure help strengthen your marriage relationship.

The topics I will discuss include, but are not limited to, sexual intimacy, differences between men and women, suggestions for romantic dates/getaways, gift ideas, and spiritual aspects of marriage relationships.

Please feel free to email me, anonymously if needed, at letstalkintimacy@gmail.com any questions or suggestions you may have in regards to any of these topics. I am committed to helping each of you find answers to your questions, even the tough or really personal ones, as I know these answers help all of us.

I hope you will stop by often as I get this blog off the ground. I look forward to taking this journey and hope you will join me!

Love,
***Naomi Carmen***